The Self-Killing Love of a Male. Episode 2

Hi there!
It looks like yesterday’s episode was only a start for this challenge I have to endure. Or better said: It was a start of my realization/acceptance of the fact that: I felt like that continuously along the whole time (ignoring it)…
Today I had the great “pleasure” to sit near her and be there for like 1,5h… Now that was some pretty hard quest… At my studying procedure (or location), I was made to work in pairs with her. It’s good each of us had some homework to prepare, so we intersected our sights very little. But being near her was really a challenge. And as you see, I’m starting unconsciously repeating myself…
Sensing her smell and hearing her sweet voice at such a little distance made my mind blurry. All thoughts just messed up…. And when I had to show my knowledge and mind abilities – I fucked up…. As simply as that… Messed up all the info I had to present…
Frankly, at a certain moment, it felt like she was enjoying the procedure of “torturing” me… But that might have been just my imagination…
Anyway, I can assuredly say that I had somehow enjoyed it… How strange it may sound… But, yeah – I enjoyed it… Being near her felt great, although painful… (a little bit)…
…… Interestingly, after proofreading the article before posting, I uncontrollably start to analyze the feelings I’m experiencing, and I catch my mind on the fact that, although the words are so confuse and antagonistic – to me these descriptions are so clear… Funny situation…

Today I found a new passion of mine. Well, it’s not quite new, because I noticed this thing earlier too, but I always strived to neglect it. Strangely, I now feel ashamed because I didn’t recognize it as a trait of mine, thus damaging my integrity “silently”. So, basically, it’s “falling in love with a girl because she dresses and speaks a certain way”… Something like that….
Let me retell you today’s feeling. It happened at my studying courses. She [another girl] was sitting behind me, at the left side of the desk. As I’m sitting alone in my desk occupying the whole place (predominantly in the right side, turned in a lateral way), I got to observe her very well. She was dressed very sexy, but not provocatively or erotic (maybe only in a certain way). Her upper body had a brown to gray colored top, covering entirely her impressive breasts, pointing out her extremely delicious body… OK, that’s enough of that type of describing 🙂 … On her top she had a black leather coat (opened). Now, everyone who knows me very well, knows that I absolutely adore (black) leather clothing, especially when a woman is dressed in it. I’m not sure, but I think that just because she was wearing that leather coat in that moment of time, I fell in love with her… Or maybe that coat just contributed to the realization that I have always wanted her as my wife…. Returning to the moment, I want to add that she also sighed when I looked at her once… Oh man, now that was so fucking erotic…
Also, sometimes she has such an erotic voice… Like women have during foreplay… That thing just made me fucking melt right there… The single thing I had on my mind was to steal a kiss from her… Taste her lips…
A mentor of mine once told me about such sigh, like the sound every guy is pursuing his entire life… Now I understand what he meant… And that sound was like being in heaven for a moment…
I guess from this situation, you could understand what I meant by “falling in love because she dresses or speaks a certain way in a certain moment”… If something like this happened to you too, I won’t be against you posting your story in the comment section below.

Peace&Victory